What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Sure no problem officer.

Answer me this. These days guys love anal sex right, if you present them with your ass they will happily nail you into the ground. So why do some guys think it's "sissy" to let women stick a finger up their ass?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Have you ever forcibly sucked someone’s dick?

HELLO

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

After a few moments he returns.

Were any US Generals hurt or killed yesterday in Damascus, Syria, yesterday 5/9/24?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Whenever I write a novel, I struggle with the end, should I make it open? Should the good win or the bad win? Sometime I don't even have an ending, what should I do?

Yes sir it is.

{RING} {RING}

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

What are some good Caribbean islands to travel to with friends or family? Why?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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